Summer I Wasn't Me by Jessica Verdi

Author:Jessica Verdi
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 18

Everyone is staring at me. I blink the moisture away from my eyes and take a long pull from the vodka bottle. “So, yeah. That’s the story of the lightning bolt.”

I can tell they’re all trying to come up with something to say, but I’m surprised when it’s Daniel who speaks first. “I’m sorry that happened to you, Lexi,” he says. He slides next to me and puts his arm around me.

I rest my head on his bony shoulder. “Thanks, Daniel.” I sniffle. “I know how you feel. It’s kind of like what happened when I kissed Colin,” he says.

I remember his story of kissing the boy in the nurse’s office. “Yeah, I guess it is,” I say. “But he hit you, didn’t he? I can’t imagine what that must have been like.”

“It’s the same though,” he says. “Zoë didn’t hit you, but she hurt you just as much.”

I sigh and thread my fingers through his. “At least we’ll never have to go through something like that again, right?”

Suddenly Matthew’s on his feet. “Oh yeah, because Mr. Martin and his cute little Jesus camp is going to turn you straight, right?” Crap. He’s upset. No, he’s mad.

“Yes, Matthew,” Daniel says, his voice firmer than I’ve ever heard it. “That’s right.”

Matthew laughs, but there’s no humor in it. “Wake up, people! This whole place is a total scam! You can’t pray the gay away. Jesus Christ!” He kicks a rock and it skids off into the woods.

“Please don’t take the Lord’s name in vain, Matthew,” Daniel says. This kid should really get drunk more often—he’s a hell of a lot more confident with an elevated blood alcohol level.

“Fine, sorry.” Matthew sits back down, but he’s still all worked up. “But come on, you guys have to know that you can’t change your sexuality any more than you can change your eye color. You really should just get used to it already.”

“You don’t know that,” Carolyn counters. “You’re the one who always talks about that stupid scale and sexuality being fluid and all that. So maybe we’re more fluid than you are. Ever think of that?”

“If you were that fluid, Carolyn, you wouldn’t need a team of counselors and a whole summer of workbooks and freaking roleplaying exercises to make you hot for guys.”

Carolyn’s face goes bright red, and I jump in to defend her. “She’s got a point, Matthew. Maybe we’re not like you. Maybe it can work for us.”

jessica verdi He crosses his arms and glares at me. I glare back. I feel bad for ganging up on him, but he’s the one who started it.

“Okay, Lexi, let’s say for a minute that you’re right. Maybe you guys are different. So tell me: how’s it going?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, we’ve been here for a while now, doing everything they tell us to, saying whatever they want us to. And I know you three have been trying your very hardest to kick that pesky SSA once and for all. So how’s it going?”

Our eyes are locked now.

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